What Next?

Last week, Rosie and Elizabeth had a live, split-screen, screaming match on national TV. The result is that "The View" will not air the Broadway-esque musical tribute memorializing Rosie's year on the couch.

So what does this mean? Do I still want to be on "The View"? (yes). Have they called me? (no). Have I called them? (not recently). Do I have a plan? (not yet).

Any ideas out there??

My Day at "The View"
(this is a work in progress... more to come)

Post Tape for "The View" March 5th, 2007

I finally made it! After months of waiting for a golden ticket, my husband (such a good man) and I flew up to NYC Saturday morning (6:30am- ugh!) for a quick trip and a date with Rosie and the ladies of "The View."

The only plans we had made (other than attending Monday's post-tape for "The View") were to have dinner with one of my husband's lawyer friends on Saturday night and enjoy some time away cell phones and computers.

When we arrived at LaGuardia we didn't take the standard yellow cab to our hotel. Instead, our suitcases were scurried along quickly to a big, black, shiny car driven by a fast speaking, well heeled man with an interesting accent. It's amazing what doors a gorgeous, albeit borrowed mink coat will open. That said, it was nice to have a driver who knew the city and could speak English. After a few minutes of courteously exchanging to/from information, our driver surprised us with some very thoughtful and thought provoking conversation.

He was originally from Israel and known rather notoriously in the local community as a stubborn non-practicing Jew from the Holy Land. And though he was proud of his Israeli heritage, he felt very strongly that we should all be Americans first and take care of our own. He came to America 20 years ago so his daughter could receive the medical care she needed for a rare condition. He and his family made America their home.

As our scenic drive continued to our hotel, we enjoyed a lively banter on topics including America's need for nationalism, his gun toting Texas sister-in-law, Hillary Clinton's brass balls, and how you never ask for a doggie bag at a Russian restaurant. When we arrived at the hotel and said our goodbyes and I gave him a good ole' Southern hug.

Saturday night: Jazz at Lincoln Center. Apparently this is one of those really cool things that touristas don't know about. Our hosts for the evening have lived in the City for decades and truly take full advantage of incredible arts and entertainment offerings. On this night, they took us to the Time Warner Center where there is this little jazz club called Dizzy's Club Coca-Cola. What a jewel! The room is an acoustic and visual treat. We had a fantastic view of the NYC skyline (including the lunar eclipse) and since the club is small, every seat is prime. Not your smokey bar with unidentifiable sticky substances gluing your feet to the floor, but a real classy place with a simple menu at not-so-New York prices. Live jazz, fabulous view, good eats.

Sunday: After waking up late and indulging in a very big breakfast, we headed back to the hotel to leisurely read the New York Times and plan our day. Reading the New York Times (especially Sunday's edition) paints a different world from my little Pensacola. In NYC, there is a protest against foie gras and people trying to sell their multimillion dollar condos are losing their rights to have "Open Houses" because of problematic and unsavory elevator traffic.

With afternoon approaching, we decided it was time to do our recon mission and head down to the ABC studios to scope things out. We grabbed a cab and held on for our wild ride with Mr. Toad-hussainavich. Of course this is a Sunday afternoon, so we didn't expect the place to be open, but as we peered into the thick glass doors, there sat my new friend Ashanti (ABC studio security guard). Ashanti had been working at ABC for about 5 months and had met some really cool people. I gave her one of my "Send Cynthia to The View" cards (and some extras to pass out to her friends and Barbara Walters), told her that I wanted to be the next new host on "The View" and that we were going to the taping on Monday. She cheerily offered her "good luck" and said that she would look for us tomorrow.

Monday morning we got up, packed our bags and headed out for bagels and coffee. We arranged for the hotel to hold our bags and we Yellow-cabbed it to "The View".

As per our instruction sheet, we arrived at 11am to take our place in the already long line OUTSIDE the ABC building. Picture a couple hundred shiverring women (most in great coats) with blue lips patiently waiting in line,. It looked like a depression era soup line for well coiffed women. Thank God (or at least DeeDee) for the use of her fabulous mink coat. I not only looked "Viewish", but the full-length furry armor protected my Southernmost exposure and kept my spirits high.

While in line, we struck up a conversation with a couple of the other ladies in line. When they asked why we came all the way from Florida (in this cold!) just to see the show, I flashed my special "Send Cynthia to The View" 4-color, Kinko cards (with vanity shot) and explained that I wanted to become the next new host on "The View". They were tickled and supportive, so I figured this was my opportunity to share the love with everyone else in line.

It didn't take long and I handed out over a 100 cards with my Blog info on it. I cheerfully told everyone that I had a local TV show in Florida and that while no one from "The View" had called me to co-host (so far), my hat was officially in the ring. Most of the ladies in line were very interested in my mission and wished me luck. There were even a few who asked for extra cards.

As I worked my way back to my original spot in line, a uniformed security guard came up to me and said in an authoritative voice "Hey, you left some of your cards at the front desk yesterday, didn't you?". (Ooops, I sheepishly grinned at him...I'd been caught.) "Yeah, I thought that was you," he continued, "I recognized you from your picture. You can't be doing that young lady. You got to clear that through HR before you can leave anything at the desk."

What could I say but,"Gee, I'm sorry. I didn't know. Next time I'll be sure to contact HR and get an okay. You just tell me who to talk to and I'd be happy to do it." At this point in my life anyone who calls me "young lady" gets my utmost cooperation. Besides that I would actually LOVE to talk to someone in HR! Maybe I need to fill out a job application...At that he softened up a bit and let me know that I was on the door list and could go on into the lobby. I waved to all my new friends, grabbed my husband and felt like Dorothy skipping down the yellow brick road.

Inside the door, at the front desk was our friend Ashanti (from Sunday's excursion). We exchanged smiles, greetings and proceeded to the next holding area... which had heat and a TV tuned to the current show that was airing live.

The studio was smaller than I thought it would be. We had great seats... 3rd row. When I finally show the actual show , there was video proof that I was there. The bottom of my boot is caught on film (I really need to have it re-soled) wiggling and kicking right next to the featured expert's head. She was actually sitting a couple of rows in front of us, but my foot was in the aisle, and camera angles can make things look weird. I couldn't help but giggle as I watched my foot do it's usual tap and wiggle on national TV.

Barbara wasn't there, Linda Dano guest hosted. The topic for the day was "Depression".... not exactly a really fun show, but Rosie did amuse everyone when she jumped into a yoga swing (never heard of this before) and inverted herself.

I even got to ask Rosie a question. She appears to be a very intense person. I had a great time. Joy was smaller than I thought she would be...a couple ladies behind me even commented on how sexy they thought she was. Elizabeth was tiny, cute as a button and did not seem at ease. My husband said someone should feed her. There was a bird-like lady who hovers over Rosie during the breaks arranging various strands of hair.

After the show, as we were leaving, my new friends (the security guards) asked me if I enjoyed the show. I said I had a great time, but they didn't ask me to stay and co-host. One of the guards said "that ain't right, you'll have to come back". We all had a good laugh and I hope someday I'll get to go again.

THEN,

Tuesday morning, I got on the IMDb board for "The View" and relayed my experience to the other loyal Viewsters. Even got a post from someone who was at the same taping. Then I go to Rosie's BLOG and make a comment...I kind of forget about it and then a post pops up on the IMDb board that I'M ON ROSIE'S BLOG!. This is too wild so I check it out and YES! What a thrill . Within 48 hours I went to the Show, shared my experience on the Board, went on Rosie's BLOG and got a "Thanks Cyn" from the Ro herself! Jeez which I had bought a lottery ticket.

YIPPEE!! I'M GOING TO THE VIEW!!

OMG!!
I just got an e-mail from my new BFF at our local ABC affiliate.... I have been confirmed for 2 tickets to be in the audience at "The View" in NYC on March 5th!!!

I need to get my tail in gear fast! Botox? Lipo? Something View-worthy to wear?? Xanax???
How am I going to lose 10 pounds in 2 weeks???? Maybe it's time to find some Spanx!
(Do they know I'm a Republican???) So much to do... so little time!!!

xxxooo
Cynthia

I have gone to Paris (France, not Texas) to re-think my strategy to become the next new host on "The View". I will return on 11/20/06 to report my progress...

Another Day in Pergatory...

Yesterday, I was presented with a new challenge in my quest to become the Next New Host on The View. As you are aware, September 29th is the day I selected to meet Bill Geddie and the ladies of The View. My strategy? Work with my local ABC affiliate friends to get a VIP backstage pass for the show on Sept. 29th. That way, if the stars weren't aligned and I didn't get a formal interview, I'd at least have the opportunity to meet everyone in person and watch the show live. Not a bad consolation prize. (Maybe they'd vote me Miss Congeniality.)

A little over a month ago, getting the VIP pass with backstage access was "not a problem, just tell me when you want to go". A few weeks ago I requested a specific date... Sept. 29th. This time, the date "shouldn't be a problem, it's far enough out that you should be fine." So, I finalized the date and made arrangements for the trip.

Then came yesterday...and a voice message from my ABC contact saying, "Hey Cindy, uh, give me a call." This was not good. If she had had good news she would have said "Hey girl! I've got your passes! Call me!" I figured I'd rather hear bad news now before my immagination puts some weird spin on it like "They found out you were the "Next New Host on the View" chick with the blog and have ordered a SWAT team to keep you out of the building." But when I called her back, instead of being blackballed from "The View", she told me "Cindy, I've got bad news. They changed the rules for VIP passes. Now, they only issue them to station employees...no exceptions. I've got one other person I can talk to but... here, let me give you this phone number for the ticket request line, maybe you'll have some luck there"

My stomach had that immediate burn usually associated with cheap white wine, "But, but," I stammered", I planned my whole "New Host on The View" campaign strategy around that VIP pass... is there anyone else we can talk to? What if you hire me for a day and I'll come clean your office...I've put so much work into this already..."

When I got off the phone, I immediately made the call to attempt to secure audience tickets. The number was to a voice mailbox. I wasn't getting a warm and fuzzy feeling nor any indication that anything human actually retrieved any messages left at that number. What next?... I tried the website. Unfortunately, at this time they are not taking requests for tickets... sorry for the inconvenience.

What Does One Wear?

So, I'm sitting here at my computer typing away. I'm wearing my gym clothes (to remind me to go and work out) and my fuzzy flipflops. While not exactly fashion forward, these days this is my normal attire for most mornings.

As a single Mom, I never puchased clothes at full retail. Even now, (with an incredibly supportive husband) I feel painfully guilty for even trying on fabulous full price fashions. While my teenage daughter seldom finds anything on sale (except that cute jacket from Hollister she bought last month), I always work my way from the sale racks up. I try to purchase quality pieces that will stay in my closet. I have watched my wardrobe go from fashionable, to retro, to vintage to Halloween costume.

What should I wear when I go to New York? I have never been accused of looking "country come to town", but it's been a while since I've actually had a "job interview". What are my choices? A suit? (the ones in my closet are too tight) A dress? (I'll look like wallpaper with pumps) Something professional, yet with personality? Maybe my new mantra be WWMW ...What Would Meredith Wear?

More on this later ... I have to clean the house.

The Interview

I started wondering... what kind of things will Bill ask me when I get to New York? Of course, there is always the possibility that I will meet with Barbara instead of Bill. For the purposes of this drill, however, I figured I'd think up some practice questions and responses to help me prepare.

Bill: You're WHO?
Cynthia: I'm Cynthia Campfield, well actually Cynthia Scheltema, but some people refer to me simply as "Cynthia". I think it's because of the whole mystique associated with those one worded woman wonders like "Madonna, Cher, LJo, Barbie..." My best friend calls me Cynderella. He was also my Maid of Honor at my wedding (another story).

Bill: So what do you have in common with the ladies of The View?
Cynthia: Well, I'm not sure how much I have in common with them, but I do have experiences and qualities that complement them. For instance, like Meredith I prefer commando (at least with jeans). Like Joy, I too have been a redhead. Elizabeth... well, she may have been on the show "Survivor", but I'm a card carrying cancer survivor. Unlike Star, I'm comfortable enough with my quest to be younger and thinner to share my personal experiences. Like Barbara, I have one daughter (whom I love dearly, even if she is a teenager) and a puppy dog.
Unlike Rosie, however, I love high heels.

Bill: Are you a good witch or a bad witch?
Cynthia: I'm a registered Republican.

Bill: Why did you decide to pursue this at this stage in your life?
Cynthia: I'm not dead yet...and besides I think that any co-host for The View should bring with her valuable life lessons. I have had many stages in my life and hope to have many more. At this point in my life, I've come to the conclusion that I'm not going to get any taller, but that's about as far as my certainty (about anything) goes.

Bill: What do you think of Brad Pitt?
Cynthia: ugh! I am soooo over him. I hope he and Angie are happy together.

Bill: Was the break-up hard for you?
Cynthia: Of course it was. I'm only a living, breathing, red blooded American female.
Let's move on, okay?

MORE to come...
I have to paint my nails.

A Present for Bill Geddie.

This afternoon I sent Bill Geddie (The View Master himself!) my head shot (yes, a current one, wrinkles and all), a couple of Yadda DVD's and my resume. I tried to create a DVD especially for this purpose, but my program kept crashing. This was one of those afternoons that I would have loved to have had my 14-year old stepson's assistance. He makes his own skateboard videos and posts them on U-Tube. His technical expertise was sorely missed. After hours of frustration, I decided that some things happen for a reason and that I really couldn't waste any more time playing video editor.

Of course, the package itself was wrapped up like a lovely present (including a hand tied bow). Not too girly, but still pretty. I know this isn't something that a serious journalist would do, but I believe it shows that I am a creative person and that I have truly thought long and hard about what this all means to me. (It helps that when I was in college, I worked in a gift wrap department during the holidays.)

Dear Mr. Bill

Below is a draft of the letter I am sending to Bill Geddie (He's the Executive Producer of "The View"). I look at this and wonder if I really have a chance at the brass ring or if I'm truly just hormonally challenged.

Dear Mr. Bill:

I want to be the next new host on “The View”. No, I do not smoke funky herbs. The truth is that (for some time) it has been my dream to become the next host for “The View” and up until now, real life just got in the way. Since timing is everything, I really hope my timing is finally right.

Four years ago (during a cathartic series of premature hot flashes), I realized my personal successes and challenges in life had given me more than gray hair. They gave me valuable experience-based knowledge. Since then, I have developed and co-hosted a local television talk show, written over 100 published columns on life and relationships and (finally) re-married. I found my "views" (which I shared openly) often validated the feelings and experiences of other women.

When Star left “The View”, I decided that since neither you nor Barbara had a clue that I existed, I had better get a plan into action. I think it’s important (yes, even at my age), to set your sights high. Of course the show will change when Rosie takes the lead; but it’s the unique communication dynamic that makes “The View” fun.

I know this is a long shot, but I will be in New York on September 29th and would appreciate the opportunity to meet with you. If September 29th does not work for you, then I would be happy to arrange my schedule to better suit yours.

Thank you.
xxxooo
Cynthia

Send Cynthia to "The View"

Send Cynthia To
"The View"
(She's not getting any younger)

E-mail the
ViewMaster Today at
http://abc.go.com/daytime/theview/

This is your new mantra:
Cynthia is my choice for the next new host on "The View".
For best results, repeat at least 3 times a day.

Copy and paste the message below or create your own and let's see what happens.

Dear ViewMaster,
For years, we’ve watched Cynthia's TV Show “Yadda Yadda”. Now that she’s had lots of practice, (and doesn’t giggle as much),we think she’s ready to be the next new host on “The View”.
xxxooo

PS: Check out her Blog at
www.cynthianewhostontheview.blogspot.com

A View of Cynthia

Much like me, this Blog is a work in progress.

Accent: Somewhat southern

Height: 5’6” is my height on a good day (when I’m wearing 3” heels). I may look petite, but I actually tower over most people who are shorter than me.

Weight: 119 lbs was my dream weight-at least it was about 10 years ago. Unfortunately, I haven’t seen that number in quite a while because the numbers on my scale zip past it too fast and then I close my eyes. At this point in my life, I’d rather be healthy and happy than wear a size 4.

Hair: My hair is fabulous (whatever the color). I’d put my hair up against the tresses of Julia Roberts and Jennifer Aniston any day.

On Politics: Regan inspired Republican, but secretly voted for Gore (I don't recall why...maybe I drank the Kool-Aid). If anyone tells my parents, I will be cut out of their will.

On Love: I've spent a lot of time trying to figure this one out. After my first official divorce, I fell into another relationship that lasted 5 years. Unfortunately for the relationship, I wanted to get married. Unfortunately for me, Mr. Five Years didn't. I know he loved me; but since marriage was not an option for him, it was time for me to move on.

On Marriage: I have some experience in this area. I'm on husband number 3. I usually don't count marriage number 1. It was a Britney Spears kind of thing. Anyway, regardless of sexual orientation, political agendas and income taxes have made marriage a taxable entity and an emotional liability. Marriage should be a commitment and bond of the heart not the tax return.

On Plastic Surgery: Yes. I’m on a maintenance program. Last year I had my front end aligned. Maybe next year I'll get my tires rotated.

A Cynderella Story
1959: Born, Cynthia Ann Reisenwitz (tell me, would you go back to your maiden name??), Panama City, Florida. Tyndall Air Force Base

1959-1973: Lived in and around various military bases in Florida, Montana, Texas, Missouri, Iceland, Virginia, Kansas, Missouri (rumored to have attended Girl Scout Camp with Sheryl Crow), Kansas

1973: Settled in Niceville, Florida (I did not make this up)

1977: Graduated from Niceville High School. (Junior Miss, Drum Majorette with tall black boots, Hall of Fame)

1977-1980: Attended University of Florida (Secretly married during Christmas break), Okaloosa Walton Community College, Graduated from Florida State University (Secretly divorced).

After graduating from college in 1980 and armed with highlights, high heels and high hopes, Cynthia moved to the big city of Pensacola, Florida to seek her fortune. While she still hasn’t found her fortune, she earned a master’s degree, got married (a couple of times) and raised a daughter (still working on that one).

Over the past 20 years her experiences have lead her down the garden path where she has eaten crow, found her foot stuck in her mouth (multiple times), robbed from Peter to pay Paul and paid her dues.

Cynthia spent a few years in the trenches of a corporate marketing department before launching her own company. She worked long hours trying to find a niche. When it finally clicked, the company expanded quickly and was a very successful and nationally recognized creative design firm.

One night, her husband of 13 years (including natural childbirth) told her that he had found his soul mate (and it wasn't her). He met her on the internet...way before Match.com became so popular. Since Ms. Cyberchick lived in California, Cynthia figured their connection was more ether than reality. Of course, a trip to her family doctor provided evidence to the contrary.

Even after the gruelling pain of the affair, Cynthia was devastated when the divorce papers were delivered to her doorstop. The next 12 months were spent in emotionally draining long-distance divorce warfare. After the papers were signed and her finances and energy were exhausted, she was no longer able to cope with the stress of running a business. So, after 10 good years, the company quietly folded.

Uncertain of her ability to support herself and her daughter, in 1998, Cynthia accepted a job at a super regional bank. At that point she was grateful she had finished her master's degree and had a reasonably impressive resume. She quickly improved her position and became a loan officer for the bank's small business customers. Not the career she had planned, but one that benefited from her skills and paid the mortgage.

In February of 2000, she was diagnosed with an agressive form of breast cancer. Wondering if she would ever emerge from the black hole her life had become, she fought depression and other side affects associated with her toxic treatments. Today, Cynthia is cancer free and has new and improved breasts.

In 2003, Cynthia went through another mid-life crisis. Within the course of a month, she broke up with Mr. Five Years, quit her job and decided that what she really wanted was to be on "The View." Fortunately for her mortgage company she was quickly scooped up by another bank before her next payment was due.

In between jobs (approximately 2 weeks) Cynthia and some great girlfriends (Deborah, DeeDee, Donda, Suzanne) developed "Yadda Yadda" a local television talk show based on "The View". Cynthia figured that even though Barbara wouldn't take her calls (yet), she'd work hard and that eventually the stars would align and she would have a shot at a seat on the show. She was determined to pursue her dream (even if she had to keep her day job).

More to come....Pensacola News Journal columnist (Cynthia fired for writing about "living in sin")..... Independent News columnist for 2 years.... BLAB TV show better than ever....

In 2005, she remarried. Her husband, Jim Scheltema is both a CPA and an attorney. Cynthia never thought she'd fall in love with a "nice" guy. Her parents even like this one. (Some people think Cynthia kept her professional name as "Campfield" just to irritate her ex husband... an accusation Cynthia will neither confirm nor deny).

Now, with a teenage daughter, 2 teenage stepsons, a Jack Russell Terriorizer and a very busy husband, Cynthia is pursuing her dream of being the next co-host on "The View".


Check out my continuing efforts to become the next new co-host on "The View" can be found at: www.theviewwithcynthia.blogspot.com or view some of my essays at www.yaddagirlz.blogspot.com

Watch "YaddaYadda" Monday nights at 9pm CTS.
on BLAB TV in Northwest Florida and South Alabama
or WWW.BLABTV.COM