Another Day in Pergatory...

Yesterday, I was presented with a new challenge in my quest to become the Next New Host on The View. As you are aware, September 29th is the day I selected to meet Bill Geddie and the ladies of The View. My strategy? Work with my local ABC affiliate friends to get a VIP backstage pass for the show on Sept. 29th. That way, if the stars weren't aligned and I didn't get a formal interview, I'd at least have the opportunity to meet everyone in person and watch the show live. Not a bad consolation prize. (Maybe they'd vote me Miss Congeniality.)

A little over a month ago, getting the VIP pass with backstage access was "not a problem, just tell me when you want to go". A few weeks ago I requested a specific date... Sept. 29th. This time, the date "shouldn't be a problem, it's far enough out that you should be fine." So, I finalized the date and made arrangements for the trip.

Then came yesterday...and a voice message from my ABC contact saying, "Hey Cindy, uh, give me a call." This was not good. If she had had good news she would have said "Hey girl! I've got your passes! Call me!" I figured I'd rather hear bad news now before my immagination puts some weird spin on it like "They found out you were the "Next New Host on the View" chick with the blog and have ordered a SWAT team to keep you out of the building." But when I called her back, instead of being blackballed from "The View", she told me "Cindy, I've got bad news. They changed the rules for VIP passes. Now, they only issue them to station employees...no exceptions. I've got one other person I can talk to but... here, let me give you this phone number for the ticket request line, maybe you'll have some luck there"

My stomach had that immediate burn usually associated with cheap white wine, "But, but," I stammered", I planned my whole "New Host on The View" campaign strategy around that VIP pass... is there anyone else we can talk to? What if you hire me for a day and I'll come clean your office...I've put so much work into this already..."

When I got off the phone, I immediately made the call to attempt to secure audience tickets. The number was to a voice mailbox. I wasn't getting a warm and fuzzy feeling nor any indication that anything human actually retrieved any messages left at that number. What next?... I tried the website. Unfortunately, at this time they are not taking requests for tickets... sorry for the inconvenience.

What Does One Wear?

So, I'm sitting here at my computer typing away. I'm wearing my gym clothes (to remind me to go and work out) and my fuzzy flipflops. While not exactly fashion forward, these days this is my normal attire for most mornings.

As a single Mom, I never puchased clothes at full retail. Even now, (with an incredibly supportive husband) I feel painfully guilty for even trying on fabulous full price fashions. While my teenage daughter seldom finds anything on sale (except that cute jacket from Hollister she bought last month), I always work my way from the sale racks up. I try to purchase quality pieces that will stay in my closet. I have watched my wardrobe go from fashionable, to retro, to vintage to Halloween costume.

What should I wear when I go to New York? I have never been accused of looking "country come to town", but it's been a while since I've actually had a "job interview". What are my choices? A suit? (the ones in my closet are too tight) A dress? (I'll look like wallpaper with pumps) Something professional, yet with personality? Maybe my new mantra be WWMW ...What Would Meredith Wear?

More on this later ... I have to clean the house.

The Interview

I started wondering... what kind of things will Bill ask me when I get to New York? Of course, there is always the possibility that I will meet with Barbara instead of Bill. For the purposes of this drill, however, I figured I'd think up some practice questions and responses to help me prepare.

Bill: You're WHO?
Cynthia: I'm Cynthia Campfield, well actually Cynthia Scheltema, but some people refer to me simply as "Cynthia". I think it's because of the whole mystique associated with those one worded woman wonders like "Madonna, Cher, LJo, Barbie..." My best friend calls me Cynderella. He was also my Maid of Honor at my wedding (another story).

Bill: So what do you have in common with the ladies of The View?
Cynthia: Well, I'm not sure how much I have in common with them, but I do have experiences and qualities that complement them. For instance, like Meredith I prefer commando (at least with jeans). Like Joy, I too have been a redhead. Elizabeth... well, she may have been on the show "Survivor", but I'm a card carrying cancer survivor. Unlike Star, I'm comfortable enough with my quest to be younger and thinner to share my personal experiences. Like Barbara, I have one daughter (whom I love dearly, even if she is a teenager) and a puppy dog.
Unlike Rosie, however, I love high heels.

Bill: Are you a good witch or a bad witch?
Cynthia: I'm a registered Republican.

Bill: Why did you decide to pursue this at this stage in your life?
Cynthia: I'm not dead yet...and besides I think that any co-host for The View should bring with her valuable life lessons. I have had many stages in my life and hope to have many more. At this point in my life, I've come to the conclusion that I'm not going to get any taller, but that's about as far as my certainty (about anything) goes.

Bill: What do you think of Brad Pitt?
Cynthia: ugh! I am soooo over him. I hope he and Angie are happy together.

Bill: Was the break-up hard for you?
Cynthia: Of course it was. I'm only a living, breathing, red blooded American female.
Let's move on, okay?

MORE to come...
I have to paint my nails.

A Present for Bill Geddie.

This afternoon I sent Bill Geddie (The View Master himself!) my head shot (yes, a current one, wrinkles and all), a couple of Yadda DVD's and my resume. I tried to create a DVD especially for this purpose, but my program kept crashing. This was one of those afternoons that I would have loved to have had my 14-year old stepson's assistance. He makes his own skateboard videos and posts them on U-Tube. His technical expertise was sorely missed. After hours of frustration, I decided that some things happen for a reason and that I really couldn't waste any more time playing video editor.

Of course, the package itself was wrapped up like a lovely present (including a hand tied bow). Not too girly, but still pretty. I know this isn't something that a serious journalist would do, but I believe it shows that I am a creative person and that I have truly thought long and hard about what this all means to me. (It helps that when I was in college, I worked in a gift wrap department during the holidays.)

Dear Mr. Bill

Below is a draft of the letter I am sending to Bill Geddie (He's the Executive Producer of "The View"). I look at this and wonder if I really have a chance at the brass ring or if I'm truly just hormonally challenged.

Dear Mr. Bill:

I want to be the next new host on “The View”. No, I do not smoke funky herbs. The truth is that (for some time) it has been my dream to become the next host for “The View” and up until now, real life just got in the way. Since timing is everything, I really hope my timing is finally right.

Four years ago (during a cathartic series of premature hot flashes), I realized my personal successes and challenges in life had given me more than gray hair. They gave me valuable experience-based knowledge. Since then, I have developed and co-hosted a local television talk show, written over 100 published columns on life and relationships and (finally) re-married. I found my "views" (which I shared openly) often validated the feelings and experiences of other women.

When Star left “The View”, I decided that since neither you nor Barbara had a clue that I existed, I had better get a plan into action. I think it’s important (yes, even at my age), to set your sights high. Of course the show will change when Rosie takes the lead; but it’s the unique communication dynamic that makes “The View” fun.

I know this is a long shot, but I will be in New York on September 29th and would appreciate the opportunity to meet with you. If September 29th does not work for you, then I would be happy to arrange my schedule to better suit yours.

Thank you.
xxxooo
Cynthia

Send Cynthia to "The View"

Send Cynthia To
"The View"
(She's not getting any younger)

E-mail the
ViewMaster Today at
http://abc.go.com/daytime/theview/

This is your new mantra:
Cynthia is my choice for the next new host on "The View".
For best results, repeat at least 3 times a day.

Copy and paste the message below or create your own and let's see what happens.

Dear ViewMaster,
For years, we’ve watched Cynthia's TV Show “Yadda Yadda”. Now that she’s had lots of practice, (and doesn’t giggle as much),we think she’s ready to be the next new host on “The View”.
xxxooo

PS: Check out her Blog at
www.cynthianewhostontheview.blogspot.com

A View of Cynthia

Much like me, this Blog is a work in progress.

Accent: Somewhat southern

Height: 5’6” is my height on a good day (when I’m wearing 3” heels). I may look petite, but I actually tower over most people who are shorter than me.

Weight: 119 lbs was my dream weight-at least it was about 10 years ago. Unfortunately, I haven’t seen that number in quite a while because the numbers on my scale zip past it too fast and then I close my eyes. At this point in my life, I’d rather be healthy and happy than wear a size 4.

Hair: My hair is fabulous (whatever the color). I’d put my hair up against the tresses of Julia Roberts and Jennifer Aniston any day.

On Politics: Regan inspired Republican, but secretly voted for Gore (I don't recall why...maybe I drank the Kool-Aid). If anyone tells my parents, I will be cut out of their will.

On Love: I've spent a lot of time trying to figure this one out. After my first official divorce, I fell into another relationship that lasted 5 years. Unfortunately for the relationship, I wanted to get married. Unfortunately for me, Mr. Five Years didn't. I know he loved me; but since marriage was not an option for him, it was time for me to move on.

On Marriage: I have some experience in this area. I'm on husband number 3. I usually don't count marriage number 1. It was a Britney Spears kind of thing. Anyway, regardless of sexual orientation, political agendas and income taxes have made marriage a taxable entity and an emotional liability. Marriage should be a commitment and bond of the heart not the tax return.

On Plastic Surgery: Yes. I’m on a maintenance program. Last year I had my front end aligned. Maybe next year I'll get my tires rotated.

A Cynderella Story
1959: Born, Cynthia Ann Reisenwitz (tell me, would you go back to your maiden name??), Panama City, Florida. Tyndall Air Force Base

1959-1973: Lived in and around various military bases in Florida, Montana, Texas, Missouri, Iceland, Virginia, Kansas, Missouri (rumored to have attended Girl Scout Camp with Sheryl Crow), Kansas

1973: Settled in Niceville, Florida (I did not make this up)

1977: Graduated from Niceville High School. (Junior Miss, Drum Majorette with tall black boots, Hall of Fame)

1977-1980: Attended University of Florida (Secretly married during Christmas break), Okaloosa Walton Community College, Graduated from Florida State University (Secretly divorced).

After graduating from college in 1980 and armed with highlights, high heels and high hopes, Cynthia moved to the big city of Pensacola, Florida to seek her fortune. While she still hasn’t found her fortune, she earned a master’s degree, got married (a couple of times) and raised a daughter (still working on that one).

Over the past 20 years her experiences have lead her down the garden path where she has eaten crow, found her foot stuck in her mouth (multiple times), robbed from Peter to pay Paul and paid her dues.

Cynthia spent a few years in the trenches of a corporate marketing department before launching her own company. She worked long hours trying to find a niche. When it finally clicked, the company expanded quickly and was a very successful and nationally recognized creative design firm.

One night, her husband of 13 years (including natural childbirth) told her that he had found his soul mate (and it wasn't her). He met her on the internet...way before Match.com became so popular. Since Ms. Cyberchick lived in California, Cynthia figured their connection was more ether than reality. Of course, a trip to her family doctor provided evidence to the contrary.

Even after the gruelling pain of the affair, Cynthia was devastated when the divorce papers were delivered to her doorstop. The next 12 months were spent in emotionally draining long-distance divorce warfare. After the papers were signed and her finances and energy were exhausted, she was no longer able to cope with the stress of running a business. So, after 10 good years, the company quietly folded.

Uncertain of her ability to support herself and her daughter, in 1998, Cynthia accepted a job at a super regional bank. At that point she was grateful she had finished her master's degree and had a reasonably impressive resume. She quickly improved her position and became a loan officer for the bank's small business customers. Not the career she had planned, but one that benefited from her skills and paid the mortgage.

In February of 2000, she was diagnosed with an agressive form of breast cancer. Wondering if she would ever emerge from the black hole her life had become, she fought depression and other side affects associated with her toxic treatments. Today, Cynthia is cancer free and has new and improved breasts.

In 2003, Cynthia went through another mid-life crisis. Within the course of a month, she broke up with Mr. Five Years, quit her job and decided that what she really wanted was to be on "The View." Fortunately for her mortgage company she was quickly scooped up by another bank before her next payment was due.

In between jobs (approximately 2 weeks) Cynthia and some great girlfriends (Deborah, DeeDee, Donda, Suzanne) developed "Yadda Yadda" a local television talk show based on "The View". Cynthia figured that even though Barbara wouldn't take her calls (yet), she'd work hard and that eventually the stars would align and she would have a shot at a seat on the show. She was determined to pursue her dream (even if she had to keep her day job).

More to come....Pensacola News Journal columnist (Cynthia fired for writing about "living in sin")..... Independent News columnist for 2 years.... BLAB TV show better than ever....

In 2005, she remarried. Her husband, Jim Scheltema is both a CPA and an attorney. Cynthia never thought she'd fall in love with a "nice" guy. Her parents even like this one. (Some people think Cynthia kept her professional name as "Campfield" just to irritate her ex husband... an accusation Cynthia will neither confirm nor deny).

Now, with a teenage daughter, 2 teenage stepsons, a Jack Russell Terriorizer and a very busy husband, Cynthia is pursuing her dream of being the next co-host on "The View".


Check out my continuing efforts to become the next new co-host on "The View" can be found at: www.theviewwithcynthia.blogspot.com or view some of my essays at www.yaddagirlz.blogspot.com